


This Isn't The End

by Reibunriinta



Category: Magi: Adventure of Sinbad (Anime), Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Can you tell I cried while writingthis, Family, Gen, rurumu is dead and no one is happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 11:26:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13500822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reibunriinta/pseuds/Reibunriinta
Summary: Masrur is left devastated over Rurumu's death, blaming himself for being unable to save her, when he has a strange dream.





	This Isn't The End

Masrur hated the feeling of crying, the aching in his chest and the tight feeling that seemed to be suffocating him. More than just that however, he hated to be crying when he firmly believed he didn’t deserve to be crying when it was his fault he was suffering so much. He was the one to blame for everyone’s misery. 

All logic told him this wasn’t true, as did all his companions. No one would ever think to blame him over Rurumu’s death. He hadn’t been the one to attack her, he hadn’t been the one to throw them all into the middle of a battle that they could not win. He’d done everything he could, and he knew that no one could blame him and yet, he still felt guilty. He was there, he watched her die. He hadn’t been able to do anything. 

No matter how many times the others assured him he’d done all he could, he was so overwhelmed with his emotions that he found himself being alone most of the time. He didn’t want to stress out anyone more than they already were, after all everyone was still in a state of bitterness and detachment. They were gentle with each other, but he knew they were all blaming themselves for what they’d failed to do. 

When he spoke to the others he tried to act calm, collected, like he was going to be okay. Still, he hadn’t slept well in weeks, he couldn’t close his eyes without seeing her standing before him. He would never forget her last words, nor would he ever shake the mental image of her routed to the spot, long since dead. He wanted to see something else, he wanted to think of anything else. He wanted to be able to hear Rurumu’s name and remember her life and legacy and feel the warmth of knowing she would watch over him, however he had none of those things. 

So, he just clutched his blanket tightly, staring straight up at the ceiling, feeling the sadness wash over him. When the tears stung his eyes, and he knew he had to close them, he winced and clenched his fists, fighting the thoughts that were swimming through him, making him feel like he was drowning. 

First in his mind was the painful knowledge that he’d never know Rurumu again. He’d go the rest of his life never hearing her voice, or seeing her face, or experiencing the motherly embraces she’d once given him. He knew that never again would her children wake to find their mother holding them, he knew that the younger children likely wouldn’t even remember her once they were older. The thought of never again having the woman he’d come to love so much in his life, that was bad enough but when he thought of Hinahoho, Ja’far, and her biological children, he could hardly stand it. 

Trying to calm himself down, he went to hum a lullaby, but his cries only became louder as the only ones he knew he’d been taught by Rurumu. Giving up then, he rolled over and buried his face in his pillow to muffle the sounds of his tormented sobbing. 

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been crying for, but finally he ran out of tears, and fatigue started to overcome him. He knew he should probably get some water to replenish the toll his crying had taken, but he was to exhausted too move. He was so tired overthinking, too worn out to even let his memories have a go at him. Instead, he just laid there in a state of numbness until finally, not long before the sun would rise, he fell asleep. 

…

The first thing Masrur became aware of was a gentle humming coming from directly behind him. The second thing he noticed was her warmth, so familiar and unmistakable as it was. Next came her sent, sweet and subtle with the faintest trace of perfume, and all in an instant he knew that he was there with Rurumu. 

As comforting as it was he stiffened up, biting his tongue and staring out into the void of white and clouds before him. If a part of him wondered where he was, it was silenced by his fears. 

“Um…” he drew in a breath, his voice still hoarse from his crying. “Can you...can you hear me?”

He felt her nod, and though he couldn't see her, he somehow knew as she smiled sadly. “Yes, Masrur. I can hear you.”

He nodded then. “That's good...um.” He paused a moment, wondering if he dared to ask. “Are you mad at me?”

Her eyebrows furrowed then, her smile disappearing like a cloud of smoke. “Why would I be mad at you?” 

He stayed silent and stared, the light before him as blank as he felt numb to everything. “But I let you die…”

“Masrur, I need you to listen to me. Can you do that for me?” Her voice was weighted, hesitant even, and he could sense her sadness. 

He nodded. “Gladly.”

Another sad smile then, that just as soon faded away. “Nothing about what happened was your fault, nor Drakon's, nor Hinahoho's, nor Ja’far’s. The blame falls squarely to those who sought to hurt us...all of whom are dead. I know it’s hard to have closure, and I know moving on seems impossible after all you've suffered but please...the sooner you forgive yourself the sooner you’ll find a way to recovery.”

Masrur listened carefully, a familiar pang returning when he realized this might be the last he heard from her. He nodded, finding tears streaming down his face once more. “Okay.”

She began to stroke his hair gently, causing his tense frame to slowly decompress and somehow bringing both wanted and unwanted feeling back to his fragile heart. “Why are you crying sweetie?” A soft question, one she likely already knew the answers too. 

“I miss you.” He managed to croak out amidst the sobs that wracked his tired frame. 

Within a moment she had him in her arms, hugging him tightly. “Shhh, hey it’s okay I’m okay!” She reassured him. “I...I miss you too and love you very dearly, but listen, please.” She smiled softly. “I haven't left you. I cannot and will not abandon you, and even death cannot stop me from doing my best to protect you.”

Somehow hearing that brought a comfort to him, a strange melancholy stillness. His tears dried up and he felt as though he could breathe again. “Thanks mom...thanks for everything.”

…

When Masrur’s eyes fluttered open, and the hazy blue rays of the early morning were shining through the window, he felt a strange mix of relief and bitterness. 

Had it all just been a dream? He'd never had a dream so real before, not ones that weren't memories. Could she really be watching over him?

He still was sad, but a part of him could feel her near for some reason. Maybe she really could be looking after him even still. He wondered if he'd ever see her like that again, he wasn't so sure but he did know one thing. He’d find a way to endure this, for everyone's sake and for his own, and he would someday be happy. 

After all they still had so much to do for everyone's sake. They would rebuild their country and this time they wouldn't lose it to anybody. Yes, even if everything was dark now he at least had something to believe on. He could barely comprehend it at the time, but these dark days were just the beginning and by the end of his time in Sindria he would be happy.


End file.
